covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
