It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
