it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
