the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
