My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
