i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize