i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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