just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
