My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
