Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
