Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
