are you so shy because you have an std?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
