hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
