This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
