it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
