Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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