you guys were way drunker than both of me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
