1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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