never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
