Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
