I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
