She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
