okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
