Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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