When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
