YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
