Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
