we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
