Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize