WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
