In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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