you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
