What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
