Will you blow on my dice?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
