Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
