Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
