i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
