ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
