Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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