Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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