I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
