butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
