I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
