wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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