I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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