Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
