she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My penis needs a shock collar
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
