i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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