Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
