And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
