There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
