addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize