So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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