I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I looked at my own cervix.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
