He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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