I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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