The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
