If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
