Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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