We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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