8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize